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Do homosexuals choose to be gay?

Let me answer this one directly: No! And in case you didn’t hear me, let me speak up: NO!

This continues to be one of the myths of homosexuality that uninformed people perpetuate. Christians or conservatives may say to a homosexual, “I have a heart for those in your community, and I love you.” And then as if to drive a splinter under the fingernail of the hand they’ve just reached out to hold, they add: “But you and your friends have to realize that homosexuality was your choice.”

Ouch.

I can tell you from personal experience that virtually no one chooses homosexuality and the resulting pain and rejection that comes with it. No child or adolescent approaches the smorgasbord of sexual orientations and says, “Hmm… I think I’ll take that one.” On the contrary, most homosexuals try to deny the existence of their same-sex attractions, to pray it away, or to repress it until they become so discouraged by their inability to master the desires that they “come out.” Attributing to this struggle to the willing choice of any individual not only conveys a lack of understanding but adds to the tremendous shame seared into many homosexuals’ hearts.

So let me say clearly again: No one chooses to feel attracted to someone of the same sex. However, men and women do choose how they will act on those feelings. When the pain of this struggle captivates the heart, some people believe that their only option is a homosexual identity and lifestyle. That’s where choice comes into play: actively participating in a homosexual act.

MIKE HALEY
101 Frequently Asked Questions About Homosexuality (2004) Harvest House: Eugene, Oregon

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